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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26358751">Sea, Sex and Sanditon - the short version (picks up from Chapter 16)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70'>Mermaid70 (Smiff)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Falling In Love, Sex, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:47:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26358751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So, as I was posting the long version of SSS, I began wondering what would happen if Sidney and Charlotte just went to the pub one night before Christmas and got it together? No angst, no drama, just pure Sidlotte, although perhaps with a few bumps along the way. I suppose it’s a bit like what might have happened if the writers and producers had only ever planned one season of Sanditon and had given us our expected Jane Austen HEA. It does however mean that some of the other storylines are left unresolved… but… do we care, really?<br/>This starts at Chapter 16. Speeding through, Sidney Parker is a senior teacher at a secondary school in Sanditon (England) and Charlotte moves there and begins working at his school. He is her mentor, as she's new to teaching. After initially lusting after each other and clashing heads a few times, they fall into a tentative friendship. For several weeks now, he has been giving her lifts home after school in an attempt to get to know her better, and has also invited her to a playdate with Tom and Mary's kids, who he looks after regularly (Tom and Mary are separated). One Friday evening, Charlotte decides to take matters into her own hands...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood &amp; Sidney Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307713">Sea, Sex and Sanditon (a kitchen sink drama)</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70">Mermaid70 (Smiff)</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Unfortunately, there wasn’t a next time. Not for a Saturday afternoon playdate anyway. But for the whole of that term, Sidney gave her a lift home every Thursday after Drama Club, whatever the weather. Even if it was a sunny morning, he’d smile ruefully as he walked past his bike in the garage, unlocking the door of his car. He wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to be alone with her. They were still having their mentoring meetings most Fridays, but that was work. It wasn’t enough.</p><p>Tom’s counselling had been going so well that Mary had finally agreed to meet him in a neutral place; a quiet café in Brighton where they’d spent an hour or so talking. Although they’d both found it extremely difficult, it was a start. Mary was even considering attending some of his counselling sessions so that they could talk about what had gone wrong in their marriage and try to work out a tentative plan for the future of their family. Nevertheless, she was quite adamant they wouldn’t be getting back together any time soon.</p><p>The upshot was that on alternate weekends, when Tom wasn’t working, he went over to Brighton to see the children, picking them up from Mary’s house so he could take them out locally. Sometimes he borrowed Sidney’s car, as he had long ago sold his own, or Sidney drove him over. Mary had a new job as a vet’s receptionist and often worked weekends, so it was easier for her that way. Arthur had also been talked into letting them make use of his flat, especially if the weather was bad, and occasionally Tom would stay there overnight. Arthur was very often out at weekends, or at his boyfriend’s, so it was all the same to him.</p><p>This meant, however, that the children were not coming to Sanditon every other weekend as they had done before, although they still stayed the odd Friday night or on a week day if Mary was at work in the evening and no one else could look after them. Charlotte was delighted that Tom and Mary were making progress, but a little disappointed that it was now less likely she’d be able to enjoy some time with them in Sidney’s company.</p><p>She found herself looking forward to their weekly car rides more and more. He would chat about his day, sharing some of his worries, telling her bits of school gossip; she would tell him about her classes and the funny things that had happened. Laughing together, he would glance over at her and think how adorable she was, how expressive her face was when she was enthused, and how much he would miss her if he couldn’t see her for some reason. He loved just listening to her voice. The traffic was often shocking at that time of the day, and on more than one occasion it took them much longer to get to her flat than it should have done. Sidney found he didn’t mind one bit.</p><p> </p><p>The nights got darker, the air got colder, the rain more frequent. Sidney was tired, overworked and underpaid. He couldn’t get out on his bike that often and spent most weekends taking Tom over to Brighton, visiting his sister and brother, or catching up on paperwork at home. The one thing he really looked forward to were his chats in the car with Charlotte. It was his favourite time of the week. As it was winter, she was usually muffled up in a coat, sometimes in trousers, but occasionally she wore a skirt and tights and he would glance at her slender legs as she got in and out of the car.</p><p>She, meanwhile, would sneak glances at his strong arms resting on the steering wheel and his beautiful profile, wondering if anything would ever come of this. He certainly didn’t seem to be in a hurry to move their relationship along any further, although it was fairly obvious to her that he admired her. Their initial lust – on both sides – seemed to have subsided into an easy, mildly flirtatious friendship, but she wasn’t quite sure what direction it was taking. Or whether it had any direction at all. In bed at night, she would often think about him, imagining his strong arms around her as she laid her head on his chest, chatting intimately in the dark. Was he ever going to make a move, did he even want to? She couldn’t quite understand why he was so reticent; yes, he was her boss, but surely there were ways around this.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, he would also give her a lift home on a Friday after their mentoring meeting, if it was a weekend when he didn’t have the kids, reluctantly dropping her off at her flat and saying goodnight. Charlotte had avoided going to the Crown on Fridays since the Edward incident, but one particular Friday in late November, Molly, one of the Science teachers who was about her age, invited her along and assured her that neither Edward nor Clara were going.</p><p>Sidney looked at his watch. “It’s 4.30, about time we wrapped up I guess.” He smiled at Charlotte, got up from the chair that he had placed near to hers and walked round to the other side of his desk, shuffling some papers as he did so. He didn’t look at her. Charlotte sat there, twisting her hands in her lap. Was he going to offer her a lift today?</p><p>“So, you doing anything exciting this weekend?” he asked as casually as he could, still avoiding her eye.</p><p>“No, not really,” she laughed nervously. “How about you?” <em>Ask him Charlotte, ask him.</em></p><p>“No, not much.” He glanced up at her, then down again almost straightaway. <em>Spend the weekend with me</em>, he thought.</p><p>Charlotte took a deep breath. “Um… I’m going along to the Crown now, actually. Molly invited me,” she said with studied casualness as she rose from her chair. “Would you… like to come too?” As she spoke, her palms gripped the sides of her skirt, and she was blushing more than she would have liked.</p><p>He looked up, so surprised and delighted that he couldn’t prevent a wide smile from breaking across his face. Their eyes met. A curly strand of hair was obscuring one of her eyes and he had a strong urge to reach across and tuck it behind her ear.</p><p>“Sure, yes, why not?” he laughed. She noticed his ears had turned a little red and she could see his Adam’s apple moving up and down.</p><p>“Good.” She smiled back, and for a moment they stood there immobile, rooted to the floor.</p><p>Then Sidney’s brow darkened. “Oh, err.. he won’t be there will he? Edward?” he asked, briefly clenching his fists at his sides.</p><p>“No, Molly assured me he’s going straight home tonight, don’t worry.”</p><p>“Good. Otherwise I might end up dragging him outside and challenging him to a duel,” he said, a little flirtatiously.</p><p>“There’s no need for that, Sidney, I can take care of myself you know,” she replied with a teasing, defiant smile.</p><p>“Yes, yes, I know, you don’t need a man to look after you…” he raised his hands in surrender. He shuffled his papers again, somewhat embarrassed.</p><p>“I’m only joking. Come to the pub.” She moved a little nearer to the desk, catching a hint of his musky aftershave. "Please?"</p><p>He looked up again. “I have my bike today actually, it was so lovely this morning, I couldn’t resist cycling in. Shall we… walk together?”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go to the staffroom and get my things. Meet you at the bike racks?” she said shyly, tilting her head.</p><p>He swallowed. “It’s probably better if you wait at the front gate. I won’t be long.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, she exited the gates. He was already there, waiting for her, one hand resting casually on his bike.</p><p>“Can I take one of your bags?” he asked, pointing to a bag bursting with books, which he hung on his handlebars. His own rucksack was on his back. It was a dry evening, not too chilly, and they walked slowly to the pub together, chatting about this and that. It felt so relaxed and natural, and Sidney had a strong urge to put his arm around her as they strolled along.</p><p>When they arrived at the pub, he handed her the bag and bent down to lock up his bike to the lamppost. She waited for him.</p><p>“You go inside…” he waved his hand.</p><p>“Why?” she laughed.</p><p>“Um…” he ventured a little nervously, “does Molly know you invited me?”</p><p>“No. Does it matter?”</p><p>“Oh.” He stood up, running his hands through his hair, “I don’t normally go along, you see and well, arriving together, people might talk… if you know what I mean.”</p><p>“Don’t be silly,” she replied, “it’s just a drink. Come on.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right.” Smiling, he followed her into the pub, almost imperceptibly placing his hand on her back as they went through the door.</p><p>It was busy, stuffy and very noisy inside. They could see their colleagues sitting on a table in the far corner.</p><p>“What can I get you Charlotte?” he asked, raising his voice a little.</p><p>She replied but he couldn’t quite hear what she said. He bent his head down towards her and she spoke into his ear, standing on tiptoes. “A cider, please.” As she leaned against him, he placed his hand on the small of her back to steady her. She pulled her mouth away from his ear and looked into his eyes, a little startled.</p><p>“Sorry,” he stammered, removing his hand.</p><p>“No need,” she smiled, looking down at her feet. He ordered the drinks.</p><p>“There you go,” he said, handing her the cider. “True Dorset girl, I see.”</p><p>“That’s me.” Their eyes met again.</p><p> </p><p>They made their way over to the other teachers, sitting down on low stools next to each other. However, Sidney turned away from her and began chatting to Leon, the young PE teacher, who he helped at the football club once a week. He and Leon were soon discussing who was going to win the League that year and Charlotte felt a little left out. Molly spotted her and came over to say hello. Molly was about Charlotte's age but had been teaching for longer; a short, slightly plump, very engaging woman with a curly bob of dark hair.</p><p>“Hi Charlotte. Success, I see,” she winked at her.</p><p>“What on earth do you mean?” asked Charlotte, surprised and a little embarrassed.</p><p>“You got him to come to the pub,” whispered Molly, her eyes wide, grinning mischievously.</p><p>“It’s not like that,” frowned Charlotte, “we were having a meeting and I just mentioned…”</p><p>“Oh Charlotte, stop it,” laughed Molly, “everyone knows he’s smitten with you.”</p><p>“Everyone?” Charlotte felt a little troubled.</p><p>“Well, perhaps not everyone,” conceded Molly. “But anyone with eyes can see… oh come on Charlotte, you like him don’t you? He gives you lifts home as well, doesn’t he?”</p><p>“Err.. sometimes.”</p><p>Molly leaned towards her, whispering, “Has he ever… you know… tried it on?”</p><p>Charlotte frowned and whispered back. “No. I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. We’re just friends. Is that what people think, that I’m his latest conquest…?”</p><p>Molly squeezed her hand, a little remorsefully. “Charlotte, I didn’t mean it like that, honest. He’s not that sort of guy."  After all, Sarah had left the school some time ago; Molly had never liked her anyway and was inclined not to believe her bragging. "Although he could be, if he wanted to - I tell you if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t turn him down…” She laughed. “Sorry, I’m only joking, darling. But seriously,” she said, moving closer to Charlotte, who caught a faint whiff of alcohol on her breath, “I think he really likes you.”</p><p>Charlotte shrugged. “I thought so too at one time, but I’m not sure any more… And anyway, it wouldn’t be right, would it?” She looked at her feet. </p><p>“Don’t be daft, you’re both single. And he’s not that ancient. Teachers go out with each other all the time. I met my boyfriend at my last school.” Molly smiled. Sidney was turning back towards them.</p><p>“Hello Molly,” he smiled. “What are you two whispering about?”</p><p>“Nothing!” said Molly breezily, “I’m off to the bar. Want another drink?”</p><p>“No I’m fine, thanks,” replied Charlotte. Sidney shook his head too. He moved his stool slightly closer to Charlotte’s.</p><p>“You okay? You looked a little upset.” He bent his head to look at her but her eyes were cast down at her lap.</p><p>“I’m fine. Really.” She looked up and smiled at him, then swallowed hard. His face was very close to hers, close enough to kiss, and his dark brown eyes were gazing into hers with such intensity, it made her heart pound faster and her legs tremble. Involuntarily, she bit her bottom lip as she returned his gaze.</p><p>Abruptly, he broke the spell, picking up his pint and taking a sip. Then he moved his hands up to his neck, wriggling out of his tie, folding it up, putting it in his pocket and undoing the top button of his shirt, as she watched, transfixed.</p><p>“So Charlotte, isn't this the first time we’ve had a drink together since our very first meeting? You remember that evening I suppose?” He glanced at her sideways, a small smile around the corners of his mouth.</p><p>“All too well,” she laughed.</p><p>“What did you think of me, that night?” he asked, a little flirtatiously.</p><p>“What did I think of you? How could I form an opinion on such a short acquaintance?” she smiled back. “Although,” she tilted her head, “I guess I was surprised to see a guy like you in a pub like that. And Brad of course,” she added hastily. He said nothing. Boldly, she asked, “So what did you think of me, then?”</p><p>He turned his head, smiling wryly. “You’d have to ask Brad.”</p><p>“That’s no answer!” she laughed, punching his arm playfully.</p><p>“Well.” He set down his pint glass, staring at the table. “Let’s just say that I was pleased to bump into you again. But disappointed that your new job was at my school,” he added quietly.</p><p>“Disappointed? Why?” she laughed, not catching his meaning.</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders. “Working together complicates things, don’t you find?” His ears were going red again and he couldn’t face her. Any minute now she was going to accuse him of being inappropriate, or turn away from him and talk to someone else, or worse, storm out of the pub. But she didn’t. Instead, there was a long silence as Charlotte processed what he had said and thought about what to say next.</p><p>“Maybe,” she said quietly. “You are my boss, after all.”</p><p>He turned his head. “Is that how you think of me? As your boss?”</p><p>“Yes and no.” She squirmed a little in her seat. “Mostly, I see you as my… friend. Um… I’m just going to the loo.”</p><p>She got up rather abruptly, leaving him staring after her. Brad’s words came back to him. <em>Ask her out, man. Life’s too short.</em></p><p> </p><p>When she returned from the toilets, he was talking to Leon again, so Charlotte moved to a chair on the other side of the table and chatted to a couple of her colleagues, deliberately ignoring his presence, aware that they had created some attention by arriving together and remaining almost exclusively in each other’s company. Glancing over after a few minutes, she saw he was sitting on his own again, staring into his pint. She got up and joined him, perching on the stool next to him, stretching out her legs in front of her. Sidney’s eyes drifted inexorably towards her slender calves sheathed in black, shiny tights and her small, neat black shoes hidden under the table. She leaned over towards him, a little flushed with the heat from the pub and the cider.</p><p>“Um… the others are going to a restaurant soon, the new Indian one in town, apparently it’s quite good. Do you want to come along? I’m starving!”</p><p>But he was still staring at the floor, his arms resting on his thighs. “It’s probably better if I don’t.”</p><p>“Why not?” she frowned.</p><p>“Look Charlotte, I don’t normally… fraternise that much with the staff. I have to keep a bit of a distance, I guess. And err… people might talk.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>Sighing, he turned his head towards her, looking her directly in the eye.</p><p>“About you and me. That I spend time with you, that I give you lifts, that kind of thing. You know what I mean.”</p><p>She reddened, looking down at her empty glass. “Do you want another drink?”</p><p>“Let me get you one.”</p><p>“No, no, it’s my turn. Pint of Harvey’s, Sussex lad?” She smiled, aware that she was chattering nervously.</p><p>“Okay, thanks.” He smiled back, a little bemused.</p><p>Returning with the drinks, she sat back down and they sipped in silence for a while.</p><p>Sidney took a deep breath. “Listen, has anyone… ever made any comments to you? About the lifts I give you and stuff?”</p><p>“No, not really,” she answered, deciding not to mention what Molly had said. “Well, only Edward.”</p><p>Sidney’s eyes narrowed. “Edward? What did he say?”</p><p>She moved a little closer to him, speaking quietly. There was a faint scent of almonds coming from her hair and had a strong urge to bury his head in her beautiful curls and breathe in her fragrance.</p><p>“He said that I should be wary of you, that you had a reputation.” She looked a little amused.</p><p>“Really? For fuck’s sake.” Sidney swallowed, hoping Edward didn’t know about that bloody Biology teacher. “Err… what did you say?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “I said something about the pot calling the kettle black and told him to piss off.”</p><p>“Good call.” He laughed, a little more relaxed. “Hey, I hope you didn’t believe him,” he said, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Of course not,” she laughed. “God, I would never ever get in his car. Eww… But it’s different with you Sidney, I… I trust you. And I like talking to you.”</p><p>“I like talking to you too, Charlotte.” Their eyes met again.</p><p>They were sitting rather close, so close that their shoulders were touching; each with one hand dangling down between their stools. Their fingers brushed against each other. Charlotte gasped as he curled his fingers around hers, smoothing over her knuckles with his thumb, ever so gently. How was it possible for such a small touch to feel so erotic? She bit her bottom lip.</p><p>He held her hand for around half a minute, looking away across the pub to see what the other teachers were doing. When he turned back to look at her, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright.</p><p>“I’ll come to the restaurant,” he said quietly, removing his hand and finishing his drink.</p><p>“Okay,” she whispered. She observed his fingers, now curled around his pint glass, and felt a warmth spread all over her body, culminating somewhere between her thighs. She couldn’t help casting a glance at his own strong thighs, encased in their sharply cut suit trousers. She closed her eyes for an instant.</p><p>“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Wake up. They’re leaving. Come on.”</p><p>She opened her eyes to see him smiling softly at her, his face inches away from hers. “Okay! Let’s go!” Standing up too quickly, she knocked her half-empty glass onto the floor. “Shit!” she said as the remaining liquid seeped into the carpet.</p><p>Sidney laughed. “What’s up with you?”</p><p>“You,” she said, under her breath, but from the look he shot her, she thought perhaps he had heard.</p><p> </p><p>They followed the others to the Kathmandu Palace, walking in silence as he pushed his bicycle. Once inside the restaurant, however, he sat away from her, chatting with some of the male teachers, while she sat with Molly and the others. More beer and cider was consumed. But every so often she would feel his eyes upon her and look up just in time to see him give her a brief smile before he averted his gaze.</p><p>“Going well?” Molly nudged her.</p><p>“I think so,” blushed Charlotte. “Please don’t tell anyone Molly.”</p><p>“Your secret’s safe with me.” Molly squeezed her arm. “Look, you live near me, don’t you? Let’s get him to walk us home. We can’t possibly go on our own at this time of night, can we?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. “Molly, why are you so keen to get us together?”</p><p>Molly raised her hands, grinning. “Charlotte, I’m a Chemistry teacher. I recognise the perfect formula when I see it.”</p><p> </p><p>She and Molly went to the toilet before leaving the restaurant. When they emerged outside, Sidney was at the railings opposite, unlocking his bike. He looked up.</p><p>“Err… would you two like me to walk you home?” he asked, a little nervously. Damn, why was that Chemistry teacher hanging around?</p><p>“Oh yes please,” smiled Molly. “I live near Charlotte actually. Drop me off first.”</p><p>“Okay,” smiled Sidney. “Let’s go.”</p><p>They dropped Molly off at her flat, then headed in the other direction.</p><p>“This is a bit of a circuitous route,” laughed Sidney. Charlotte said nothing, twizzling her hair with one finger.</p><p>They walked along in companionable silence for a while. Sidney’s right hand was resting on the handlebars of his bike, pushing it along. Taking a deep breath, he slowly wrapped his left arm around her waist. She looked up at him, smiling, and leaned her head against his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you mind me doing this?” he asked quietly, bending his head towards her.</p><p>“No, not at all.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>They continued walking in silence. After a minute or two, she looked up at him again and said softly, “I’ve been wanting this for months, you know.”</p><p>He stopped and turned to face her. “So have I.”</p><p>Standing there in the middle of the street, she reached up, coiling her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. His bicycle clattered onto the pavement and her bag of books fell with it. Their faces edged ever closer and finally, their lips met, brushing softly. Charlotte gasped in pleasure as he gently bit her bottom lip, while his tongue roved over her teeth. Opening her mouth wide, she kissed him back passionately. It was a long, slow, utterly romantic kiss. As they stopped, he rested his forehead against hers.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “I… I really like you Charlotte.” He kissed her again.</p><p>He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. “I don’t have to be your boss, you know. You can switch mentors. We can be… friends. Or more than that, if that’s what you want?”</p><p>“Is that what you want?” she asked, very quietly.</p><p>“Yes. Very much so.” He leaned down and kissed her again, this time with increasing passion. Although she could feel he was getting a little carried away, she didn't want to stop. Aware that they were in a public street, under the harsh glare of a lamppost with drunken revellers passing them by, he broke away. “Come on, let’s get you home.”</p><p>“Your bike,” she laughed, pointing. Somewhat sheepishly, he picked it up, along with her bag.</p><p>As they continued walking, he held her to him even more tightly, but neither of them spoke. It was enough to breathe in the cold November night and the raw, new excitement of having felt each other’s lips and held each other’s bodies. All too soon, they reached her flat. Charlotte took a deep breath. “Do you want to come up?”</p><p>“Are you sure?” He turned to look at her face, dimly lit by the street light, her eyes shining with emotion.</p><p>She nodded. “Yes. I mean… I’m not saying… you understand?”</p><p>“Of course. After all, you trust me.” He smiled.</p><p>“Yes,” she nodded. Although, she thought, I’m not sure I trust myself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Charlotte's flat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thanks for indulging me in my fantasies... this chapter gets a little explicit...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Quietly, she turned the key in the lock and they stepped over the threshold.</p><p>“Is Esther here?” he whispered.</p><p>“She’s probably in bed. It’s after 11, she never stays up late.”</p><p>Charlotte led Sidney awkwardly into the lounge. They stood there, some distance apart, not quite sure what to do first. “Um… would you like a cup of tea or something?” she flailed.</p><p>“Errr… yeah… tea… good,” he replied. Tea? he groaned inwardly. Why the fuck did I say that?</p><p>She disappeared off to the kitchen, leaving him shaking his head in despair at his own incompetence. Sidney Parker, who had got well into double figures before he had even turned 21 was now, at the age of 35, as shy as a teenage boy on a first date and seemingly utterly clueless about how to express his feelings to this slip of a woman. True, it had been a while; his last relationship, if you could qualify it as such - which he didn't - had been a disaster and had nearly put him off for life. That was well over a year ago and he had barely been near a member of the opposite sex since. His banker friend Crowe had guffawed with laughter the last time they'd met at a club in London, when he'd confessed how long it had been since he'd had sex, and had vowed to get him laid that night. He’d introduced him to a couple of women, one of whom was pretty hot, and Sidney had chatted her up for a while. He’d even kissed her, stretched out on the long sofa at the club; she’d perched on his knee and made it quite obvious what she wanted. But when she suggested they go back to her flat, he’d politely turned her down. Although his body would have welcomed it, he knew it would be a soulless encounter, just another notch on the bedpost. And he knew full well that in the morning, once she found out what he did for a living, she’d forget to ask for his phone number.</p><p>Being celibate was hard, but the hardest thing, he found, was not the lack of sex; there were ways round that after all. The hardest thing was the lack of intimacy, companionship, someone to hold, someone to talk to. When he'd first met Charlotte back in September, he'd felt an instant lustful pull towards her and had imagined her naked many, many times, using his thoughts of her as a means to an end. The next time he came face to face with her, he always felt a little guilty and found it hard to meet her eye. Yet, at the same time, he found himself wanting to spend more and more time in her company; hence the cosy talks in his office, the lifts he gave her and the occasions they sat in the car chatting amicably, long after they had pulled up outside her flat. He was desperate to get close to her but also desperately worried that he would fuck it up.</p><p>Get a grip Sidney, he thought. He shook himself out of his reverie and walked towards the kitchen, reminding himself that he wasn’t trying to seduce Charlotte, he wasn’t intending to have sex with her, he just wanted to be with her. And she, much to his joy and amazement, clearly wanted to be with him. With this in mind, he approached her as she was standing at the kitchen counter, watching the kettle boil, swiftly wrapping his arms around her from behind.</p><p>“Hey,” she said softly.</p><p>“Charlotte, um... I don't especially want a cup of tea you know,” he said, nuzzling his nose against her neck and burying his face in her hair. “Oh my god, you smell wonderful,” he growled in his deep voice, planting small kisses on her neck. Putting her hands on top of his, she wrapped them around her body even more tightly. Then she turned to face him and they kissed passionately. As she staggered backwards against the counter, his hands roved over her back, his tongue probing hungrily inside her mouth. Sidney could feel himself losing control rapidly. His hands grasped her bum and his mouth moved down to her neck, then lower, searching under the opening of her blue silky blouse. He felt her tensing a little and stopped. Drawing himself up, he pulled away, softly stroking her hair.</p><p>“Hey it’s okay,” he said reassuringly. “Forgive me. I… I’ve thought about doing this for so long, you know. But I shall try not to get carried away.” He smiled a little cheekily.</p><p>She smiled back. “Let’s go in the other room,” she said, filling up a glass of water at the sink and offering him one too.</p><p>They sat on the sofa side by side. Slowly, she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. With one arm tightly around her, he stroked her head gently with his other hand.</p><p>“I’ve thought about you too, you know,” she said. “Quite a lot actually.”</p><p>“Oh yes?” he said, amused. “And what exactly have you been thinking, Miss Heywood?”</p><p>“Oh I couldn’t possibly tell you,” she laughed. There was a pause. She looked up at him, her eyes shining brightly. “Perhaps I could show you instead.”</p><p>So saying, she hoisted herself up and straddled his lap. Her skirt began to rise up her thighs. Sidney swallowed as she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. Two, three, four buttons undone. She slipped her hand inside, feeling the warmth radiating from his chest and the wiry dark hairs that covered it. She leaned forward and they kissed, his large hands settling on her narrow hips. As the kiss stopped, their noses and mouths touched and their eyes locked together. Without taking his gaze off her, he undid the top buttons on her blouse, reaching his hand inside and caressing the fabric of her bra. Bending his head, he sought for her nipple, pulling it free. His mouth quickly clamped onto it, and Charlotte reacted so intensely that she called out, almost instantly pressing her thighs deep against him. As he urgently explored her breasts with his hands and his tongue, it was clear that his reaction equalled her own.</p><p>“Sidney,” she said breathlessly, “let’s go to my room.”</p><p>He looked up. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” she nodded, smiling.</p><p>Somehow he managed to stand and lift her up at the same time, her legs wrapped around his waist. “Which way is it, my lady?”</p><p>Squealing with delight, she nodded her head in the direction of her bedroom. The corridor was dark and he nearly dropped her while trying to navigate the door. They both laughed as he gently put her down. Charlotte turned on the small bedside lamp and Sidney came inside and closed the door behind him. They stood facing each other in the dim light. She unbuttoned the rest of her blouse and laid it on a chair. He did the same with his shirt. He waited. She unzipped her skirt and wriggled out of it, followed by her tights. She trained her gaze on him as he unbuckled his belt and removed his trousers, socks and shoes. He waited again, allowing his eyes to rove admiringly over her beautiful figure, in matching, plain black bra and knickers.</p><p>“Come here,” she whispered. Moving towards her, he softly kissed her shoulders, pulling down her bra straps as he did so. He fumbled a short while with the clasp, and the bra was soon dropped hastily on the floor. He stood back a little to admire her.</p><p>“Mmm. Been thinking about them for months too,” he grinned.</p><p>“Yes, I had noticed,” she laughed. Coiling their arms around each other, their bodies pressed tightly together, they kissed passionately. She fell backwards onto the bed and he fell with her. Leaning above her, he looked down at her tenderly.</p><p>“Do you want this?” he asked softly. She nodded, but then hesitated. “Sidney…”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Um… it’s difficult to say.”</p><p>His eyes widened. “Have you never...?”</p><p>She laughed. “No. I mean yes. I mean, oh god, that’s not what I meant. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am 26.”</p><p>“I’m not disappointed. Don’t be silly. So what are you trying to say?”</p><p>She blushed. “In the drawer, over there. Please.”</p><p>He laughed, suddenly understanding her meaning. “Of course. You daft thing.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. “You’re so lovely, you know that?” Getting up, he found what he was looking for in the drawer and put it next to them on the bed. Charlotte, gazing rather admiringly at his figure, reached out for his hips and slowly pulled down his tight trunks. Catching his eye and smiling, she lightly brushed her fingers against him. His eyes closed and he groaned with pleasure as her grip became tighter, her hand moving up and down.</p><p>"Charlotte... please... it's too much..." He bent over her, kissing her passionately as she grasped the back of his head, running her hands through his soft dark hair. His kisses trailed down her neck, covering her breasts, while his hand reached between her legs, rubbing her softly through her knickers. "Oh my god," she whispered in his ear, as he teased her slowly. "Take them off, please," she begged. Instead, he reached his fingers inside the hem, gently caressing her soft, sweet wetness. He watched as her back arched and her head thrashed to the side, her walls clenching around his fingers while the tip of his thumb stroked her clit.</p><p>"I want you, Sidney. Please." She looked up into his eyes with such passion and longing, he was almost overcome with emotion. Without speaking, he rolled on the condom and removed her knickers as fast as he could. He lowered himself inside her very slowly, staring at her all the while. They both cried out in unison then laughed in awe and wonder as their bodies moved together. Kissing her lips passionately, he thrust deep inside, making her cry out again. He was acutely aware of having missed this sensation, but also acutely conscious that somehow, it had never felt like this before. As he kissed her face and inhaled the scent of her hair, he had a strong urge to tell her he loved her, but he held back. All he knew was that he never wanted this to end, so he kept his movements slow and sensual, which only served to make her more and more excited. She was gripping his back, her knees bent up and her legs coiled tightly around him, her cries becoming more and more vocal. He knew he couldn't hold on for long. They both came, or so he hoped, in a tumble of sounds and movements and sensations, and he laid on top of her, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. Neither of them spoke or moved for a long time.</p><p>"Look at me," she whispered in his ear. Raising himself up, he smiled down at her, shaking his head in disbelief. "Fuck," was all he said.</p><p>"Yes, we did," she giggled. Oh my god, she thought, I've slept with my boss. That had certainly not been on her radar this morning; if it had, she'd have chosen better underwear. Although, to be fair, he had been more interested in taking it off.</p><p>As they lay side by side, she curled into his chest. Softly, he kissed her forehead, still unable to articulate anything meaningful.</p><p>She looked up at him. "Molly set us up, you know," she grinned.</p><p>"What do you mean?" he frowned. He wasn't keen on becoming an object of gossip in the school staffroom. "Are you going to tell her?"</p><p>"No of course I won't, if you don't want me to. But she kind of guessed anyway."</p><p>There was a pause. "What does she teach? Chemistry isn't it?"</p><p>"Yes." Another pause. "I'm sorry, did I say the wrong thing?"</p><p>"No, no, don't be silly." He turned to kiss her tenderly. "We just have to be discreet, that's all. You understand, don't you?" Fuck. How long had Molly been at the school, he wondered. She definitely would have known Sarah; they probably worked closely together. But did it really matter? He had Charlotte in his arms, something he'd dreamed about for months, and he was happy. At last.</p><p>"Of course." Charlotte leaned over him, gently touching his cheek. She suddenly felt nervous. "Um... it was okay, wasn't it?" she asked, blushing.</p><p>Sidney grinned. "Okay? You're asking me if that was okay? Charlotte, that was..." He reached forward to stroke her face, "...beautiful." He pulled her head down towards him and they kissed.</p><p>It was late, they were both tired and soon they were fast asleep, nestling in each other's arms on her narrow, slightly uncomfortable bed.</p><p> </p><p>*********************************</p><p>Charlotte woke up with a start, the sound of a closing door reverberating in her ears. It was still dark outside but there was a faint light coming through a chink in the curtains. She was alone in the bed. Where was he? She scanned the room, no sign. Perhaps he had gone to the bathroom. Then she realised that his jacket and shoes were no longer on the floor. Her heart pounding, she sprang up out of bed. She had a sudden rush of blood to the head and had to steady herself for a moment against the chair, exhaling slowly. She ran over to the window and peered out into the gloom. Down below, under the faint glow of the street light, he was unlocking his bike from the railings outside her flat. Tears came to her eyes and, without thinking, she pushed up the heavy sash window, using all her strength, then leaned out, exposing her naked body to the cold winter air.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A long night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sidney has some explaining to do...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"Sidney!" she called, just loud enough for him to hear. He turned round slowly and looked up at her, but didn't say anything. She couldn't make out his expression. "Where are you going?" He still didn't answer. "You can't just... go," she pleaded, a little louder. The street was eerily quiet, save for a distant fox snuffling in a dustbin.</p><p>Sidney came to his senses. What the hell was he doing? He at least owed her an explanation. "Sorry," he said quietly, "I'll come back up."</p><p>Tears stinging her cheeks, Charlotte hastily threw on a long T-shirt and buzzed him in the main entrance door. She stood by the open front door of the flat, shivering in the draught, as he quietly mounted the stairs. He stood in the doorway and faced her. Noticing her confused, distressed expression, he sighed with remorse.</p><p>"I'm sorry, listen, I was going to come round and see you later this morning…”</p><p>She turned away curtly. "Come inside."</p><p>They went back to her bedroom. As he removed his jacket and shoes, she sat down on the bed. Then he sat down next to her, his hands on his knees. "Look, your bed's a bit small and I couldn't sleep. I thought it best to go home."</p><p>"Without even saying goodbye?" She looked down at her hands, twisting them anxiously.</p><p>Sighing, he put an arm around her back, but she shook him off angrily.</p><p>"Charlotte..."</p><p>"Yes? What? Come on, I'm listening." Her cold glare pierced through the darkness.</p><p>He paused. "Look, maybe this isn't such a good idea... I mean, it was great, but..."</p><p>Charlotte put her head in her hands. "Oh for fuck's sake, here we go... why oh why am I so fucking stupid? I should have known."</p><p>"Charlotte, please..."</p><p>“We weren’t that drunk, were we? Is that your excuse?”</p><p>“No.” He couldn’t look at her.</p><p>She turned towards him, her eyes burning with hurt and her cheeks wet with tears. "Is that all I am to you, Sidney? Something to amuse yourself with? Another notch on your bedpost? Exactly how many other teachers have you done this to?" Her voice rising, she pushed him away roughly. "Actually, I don't even want to hear this. Just go. Please. Just leave me alone." </p><p>But he didn't move away. Instead, he knelt on the floor in front of her, gripping her shoulders tightly, willing her to look at him. At first she struggled against his grip, but he held on, then took her chin in one hand and lifted it towards his face.</p><p>"Look at me, please. It's not like that. Honestly. Hear me out." She was still glaring at him angrily. "I like you Charlotte, I really do. I wish... things were different."</p><p>"You have a girlfriend?"</p><p>"No, no, I don't. Actually, you might not believe this, but that was the first time I've had sex in well over a year." He gave an embarrassed smile.</p><p>Her glare softened a little but her shoulders sank despondently. "You're not making any sense, Sidney."</p><p>"I know. Look, can we lie down and talk, please? I won't touch you, I promise."</p><p>"Okay," she replied, a little uncertainly.</p><p>They lay side by side on the bed, both on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, Sidney with his hands under his head. Charlotte got under the covers while he lay on top, fully clothed. There was very little space between them, but they didn't touch.</p><p>After reflecting a little, he began. "I think I panicked. What you said about Molly. About people gossiping."</p><p>"But you said yourself it didn't matter..."</p><p>"Look, there are all sorts of things you don't know about me, Charlotte. I'm ten years older than you, for Christ's sake."</p><p>"Nine."</p><p>"Okay. Nine. But... I've been married, I've... well, I've been around a bit, although as I said, not recently. I have a lot of baggage, my family's a fucking mess, as you know," he laughed wryly, "and I've done some things I'm... ashamed of." He turned a little to face her. "Charlotte, you're young, you're beautiful, you're... you're an amazing woman and... I think what I'm trying to say is that you can do a lot better than me."</p><p>Charlotte was so surprised, she laughed. "Is that what this is about? You have skeletons in your closet and you think I'm too young and innocent? This isn't Jane Eyre, you know."</p><p>He laughed too. "You're right. And I don't have a mad wife in the attic. Well I did, but she's long gone. She... left some scars. And other stuff has happened since."</p><p>"Well, could you just bloody tell me about it, please? At least then I can make up my own mind. I know I'm younger than you, but I have a past too. I'm not a little girl, I don't need protecting."</p><p>"Okay then, what have I got to lose?" he said quietly. "You'll probably still kick me out, but..."</p><p>And so he began a long story, starting with his years at school and university, when he'd gone from girl to girl, from woman to woman, not caring that much about them, but not treating them badly either, simply having fun as an attractive young man, perhaps too much fun at times. How he'd slowed down his lifestyle after becoming a teacher, had a few flings with colleagues, nothing too serious. Then the bombshell that had landed slap bang in the middle of his carefree life at the age of 25. The death of his parents in an accident. The sense of loss and grief that possibly he'd never really come to terms with. How Tom, newly married and with a baby on the way, had struggled to cope with the businesses in the aftermath. How Arthur, only 18, had gone off the rails completely, dropping out of college, taking drugs and sleeping around. How Diana, dear Diana, had worried and fussed and done her best to look after Arthur. And how he, Sidney, had barely managed to keep his own shit together, hold down his job, support his family. He'd kept his head down and worked hard all week and then, at weekends, he'd let loose, out on the town in London with Brad and Frank, especially Frank, in an endless succession of alcohol-fuelled nights, and an endless succession of nameless women who brought him scant comfort.</p><p>As he spoke, Charlotte turned in the bed to observe his profile. He continued staring up at the ceiling, almost as if he was speaking into the empty room, not to any sentient human being. Occasionally she gently prompted him, asked a question. When he spoke of his parents, she saw a tear slowly roll down his cheek and had a strong urge to hold him tight and comfort him, tell him that she was there for him and she wasn't going to kick him out. But she kept quiet, listening to his story with increasing concern.</p><p>He explained that he'd always been careful and never caught anything, but that one woman had told him later she'd had a termination, assuming it was his, and how much that had scared and saddened him. So much so that he'd stopped the sex but still kept up the parties and, at one of these parties, had bumped into Eliza, an old flame from college. Meeting her was something of a relief: she was clever, witty, and very rational; she knew his background and she seemed to care about him. For a while at least, anyway. They settled into a steady relationship and for the first time in ages he began to feel life was returning to some sort of normality. She offered him stability, a sense of certainty, no more chasing skirts, waking up with a hangover and a nagging sense of regret. When her period was late one month and she laughingly hinted that she might be pregnant, he proposed on a whim.</p><p>The pregnancy turned out to be a false alarm but now, at the age of 27, he was locked into a marriage with her. Overnight, she turned into some sort of Bridezilla and they had a large, elaborate wedding attended by the cream of her society friends and colleagues from the City. Luckily, Eliza's parents paid for most of it. Sidney felt as if he was being swept along in a wave of planning; indeed, that his whole life was being planned out for him, without him having much of a say. And so their married life began. Eliza had very clear ideas about what she wanted from life and what she expected him to achieve on her behalf; they lived in a small flat in Islington, but she made it plain she expected to move out of London, to Essex perhaps, where several of her friends were already based, so that she could lunch at leisure while he slaved away in the office. Oh yes, she didn't want him to remain a mere Maths teacher; she had a bright future planned for him in business or accountancy.</p><p>But he refused to change his career; he was stubborn like that, and she didn't take to it kindly. They began to argue more and more and then, after some time.... Sidney paused.</p><p>"What?" asked Charlotte softly.</p><p>"You can guess. I cheated on her. A few times."</p><p>Oh. Right. "Did she find out?"</p><p>"I don't know. Probably. She got her revenge though. She cheated on me. Quite spectacularly in fact."</p><p>He related the story of how he'd come home early from a parents' evening to find her in flagrante with Charles, a hedge fund manager. Eliza had not even seemed that surprised, although Charles, to be fair, was a little mortified. She and Charles were now married and had a daughter.</p><p>Charlotte was leaning up on one elbow. She drew a small circle on his chest with her index finger. "Did you love her?" she asked softly.</p><p>"I don't even know." He turned to look at her. "I don't think so. She's not a bad person really, but we weren't... compatible." Charlotte met his gaze. Her finger halted its progress but her hand remained on his chest.</p><p>He looked at her earnestly. "Diana says I needed someone to love me. Because... because I was vulnerable I guess, after losing mum and dad. But Eliza couldn't. She pushed me away. She said I was needy."</p><p>Charlotte rested her chin on his chest. "It's not needy to want to be loved, you know. Everyone deserves to be happy."</p><p>Softly, he stroked her hair. She buried her face in his shirt as he caressed the back of her head. "Thank you for listening to me," he said quietly.</p><p>She raised her head. "And after her? Go on, you might as well give me the full works."</p><p>He sighed, relating how stressful the divorce had been, how he couldn't be bothered to argue over who got the assets. He'd just wanted to get out of London as fast as possible, away from her and away from all the gossips who knew how she'd betrayed him. Crowe had taken him out partying again and, yes, he'd met more women. But these encounters had left him feeling cold and numb, and as soon as he possibly could, he'd left England for Kenya. That year on a voluntary teaching scheme had almost saved his life, he felt. As clichéd as it was, he'd begun to see things in a new perspective and appreciate the little things in life. He'd met an American woman there and they'd enjoyed each others' company for a few months; she was fun and straightforward, and they'd parted on good terms. Then he'd returned to England and all his brother's troubles had come to light and that was that. Back in Sanditon, trying to hold the family together again.</p><p>She was still lying with her head on his chest. He exhaled with relief as he stroked her hair. She hadn't shouted at him, she hadn't asked him to leave, she had just listened. She hadn't said much, but she hadn't judged him either. Was this angel really willing to give him a chance?</p><p>The sun had risen and the early dawn light was filtering through the curtains. The seagulls were beginning to squawk noisily on the roof.</p><p>Charlotte raised her head, smiling and yawning a little. "Maybe it's my turn."</p><p>"Okay," he said softly. "What do you want to tell me?"</p><p>So, resting her chin on his chest, she told him all about her first love from school, Adam, about how upset she'd been when they split up and she went to university - "I cried for weeks" - about having fun during her first two years at uni without being tied down - "I had a few flings but perhaps not as many as you" - then about James. How their first year of fun and laughter at uni had turned more serious when they moved in together in London and he embarked on his highly promising career as an architect. She had not been half as successful, and had felt a bit left behind, conscious that she was living in the flat he owned, and wearied by his constant need to earn money and spend money. She was happier reading her books and studying, rather than attending corporate dinners on his arm and making small talk with an endless succession of boring people, and she clearly sensed his disappointment in her lack of enthusiasm and her unwillingness to conform to his idea of what the perfect woman should be like. Eventually, they'd had a massive argument one night, culminating in her throwing a pair of expensive shoes he'd bought her out of the window - Sidney laughed at this - and she'd moved out and spent the next eight months sleeping in Georgie's living room. She even confessed to him that James had bought her expensive, sexy underwear and insisted she wear it in the bedroom. How she had sometimes felt like she was acting a part and even used to fake her orgasms sometimes to avoid his disappointment. She paused, embarrassed.</p><p>"I can't believe I just told you that," she laughed, burying her face in his shirt again.</p><p>He laughed. "It's okay." A pause.  "Did you...um fake it earlier?"</p><p>She lifted her head. "No, no. Actually," she blushed, "I didn't really come. Well, not properly, if you know what I mean. I mean, don't feel bad about it, I don't always come from... sex, sometimes I need other stimulation. Fuck," she buried her head again, laughing, "for someone so annoying, I can't believe how easy it is to tell you these things."</p><p>He laughed too. "You know, Charlotte, some of the stuff I just told you, I haven't err... told anyone really. At least, not for a long time. Some of it only Diana knows about."</p><p>She lifted her head, tears in her eyes. "Really? And yet... you were willing to walk out, disappear in the night without even saying goodbye, just fuck me and leave me alone in my bed? It still doesn't make much sense, Sidney. Okay, you have a past, you've done some things you regret, so what? What were you planning to do on Monday? Pretend it never happened? Ignore me? Laugh about me behind my back?" Upset, she rolled over in the bed away from him.</p><p>He placed his hand on her shoulder. "No, I'd never do that, please believe me. I never imagined you would even want to listen to me. I never imagined you'd accept me, if indeed you do. I suppose it was easier to let you think I'm some sort of cad... fuck knows, I panicked, I was confused."</p><p>He paused for a while, then took a deep breath. "And err... I ought to tell you about Sarah, I suppose."</p><p>She rolled over to look at him. "Sarah? Another one?" A look of incredulity and slight exasperation on her face.</p><p>"Yes. Another one." He exhaled. "She was a Biology teacher at Sanditon Head. Molly knew her, you see."</p><p>Charlotte's eyes narrowed. "So you <em>do</em> make a habit of seducing teachers then? How many others have there been?"</p><p>"No others," he sighed. "Honest to god. And she seduced me."</p><p>And so he embarked on yet another story, about Sarah coming into his office, sitting on his desk one day after school when everyone else had gone home, making it very clear what she wanted. How, like a fool, he'd followed his cock and had sex with her right there and then, on top of his desk.</p><p>Charlotte's eyes widened. "Bloody hell. Err... didn't you use anything?"</p><p>He closed his eyes. "No, not the first couple of times. She said she was on the pill."</p><p>"Oh." She wrinkled her nose.</p><p>"Look, I've been checked out since. Nothing happened."</p><p>"As far as you know..."</p><p>"Yes. As far as I know. Please Charlotte, I'm not proud of this. I... oh fuck knows, I was lonely."</p><p>"How many times did you do it in your office?" She couldn't help but be a little amused.</p><p>"Only twice." He smiled wryly. "We nearly got caught by the cleaner the second time. After that, we went to my house."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>He explained how very quickly, he'd got bored, they had nothing to talk about, but she was very persistent and well, he was happy to be having sex again. How once her cover stint had come to an end, he'd tried to finish it, but she'd not reacted well. How she'd texted him, pursued him and he'd had to change his phone number. Eventually, she'd got the message and left him alone, but for a while, it had been a worry. Sidney chose to leave out the parts about him coming round to her house when he wasn't there, about her almost stalkerish behaviour, about how he and Bradley had had to meet her and threaten her with a restraining order to get her to back off. He couldn't quite confess all that. He felt as if Charlotte was softening towards him, listening to him and maybe beginning to understand him, and he didn't want to jeopardise that and put her off completely.</p><p>"So is that why you don't want to start anything with me?” Charlotte asked. “You think I'll turn into a bloody bunny boiler or something?"</p><p>Sidney laughed out loud, despite himself. "Sorry, that's just a funny expression. Have you seen the film?"</p><p>"Yes I have," she replied. "Answer the question."</p><p>"No." He turned towards her, propping himself up on his elbow. "I know you're not like that, Charlotte. That's why I've spent the last three months getting to know you. Look, I'll be honest, I wanted you from the first day I met you, but also I wanted to see if there was anything else between us, if we were... compatible I guess. I had nothing in common with her, nothing to talk about. I feel like I could talk to you forever and never run out of things to say."</p><p>Their eyes locked for some time. Sidney waited for her verdict. "Any more confessions?" she enquired.</p><p>"Not that I can think of," he smiled. "Except... I really don't want you to kick me out. And I'm really sorry I tried to leave. I woke up with a crick in my back and... a headache from the beer, I went for a piss and I started to wonder what the hell I was doing here. I saw you lying asleep, so peaceful, so beautiful and I... I decided I didn't deserve you. Plus I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't get involved with anyone at work again. But how else am I supposed to meet people? I can’t exactly go on a dating app, I’m bound to hook up with someone who knows someone from school. And I’ve had enough of trawling clubs and bars." He looked down.</p><p>Charlotte lay back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. He did the same. He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.</p><p>"Sidney," she said quietly. "What do you want from me?"</p><p>"What do I want?"</p><p>"Yes. What do you want? Simple question, isn't it?"</p><p>He swallowed. Was there a simple answer? Yes, perhaps there was.</p><p>"Everything," he replied, so quietly, she almost didn't hear him.</p><p>"Everything?" she repeated, still looking at the ceiling.</p><p>He turned to her. "Yes. Or whatever you're willing to give me." He smiled down at her tenderly. "Anything really. Up to you."</p><p>Charlotte thought. He watched her brow crinkling and all he could think was how much he loved her.</p><p>"Everything. Wow. That's pretty ambitious but... well, perhaps we could... go slowly? What do you think?"</p><p>Sidney's voice went a little hoarse. "Where would you like to start?"</p><p>Rolling over towards him in the bed, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Spend the weekend together?"</p><p>He nodded, unable to speak. She kissed him and suddenly he felt as if all those years of worry, sadness and stress were falling away from his shoulders. When she pulled away, she could see a tear forming in his eye, threatening to roll down his cheek.</p><p>"Hey." She reached up and stroked his stubbly jaw.</p><p>"You're not put off? After everything I told you?" he said, gazing into her beautiful brown eyes.</p><p>"Nope. You've been very honest. You're only human. And Sidney, you're a good man. Look what you do for Tom and Mary, how you look after their kids. Not many men would do that. You care about people, don't you? That's what's important; you do your best. Nobody's perfect. Not even me." She smiled mischievously.</p><p>He stroked her face. "So what are your faults then, Miss Heywood? Apart from being stubborn and opinionated, of course..."</p><p>"Hmm, thanks. I'm sure you'll find out if you choose to stick around."</p><p>"Oh I definitely intend to stick around." He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers.</p><p>She smiled. "But I guess we won't be having sex on your desk?"</p><p>He laughed. "I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you."</p><p>They kissed again, longingly and lovingly. Charlotte yawned. "Oh my god, I'm tired. Now we've got all that out the way, can we go back to sleep? I'm sorry about my bed, but perhaps if we lie very, very close together..." There was an awkward pause. "So are you getting in, or what?"</p><p>"You want me to? Shall I take my clothes off?"</p><p>"Yes, of course."</p><p>Climbing off the bed, he removed his clothes, watching her as he did so. "Everything?"</p><p>She nodded. "Everything." Sitting up, she pulled her T-shirt over her head. "Hurry up, I'm getting cold here."</p><p>He slipped in beside her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her skin felt so soft and warm and she smelled incredible. It felt, at long last, like coming home. She nuzzled cosily against his chest and they both fell asleep, very peacefully, just as the world outside was waking up from its slumber and the day was beginning.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is a very short chapter - featuring a cameo appearance from Esther, who I think became my favourite character in this story! - so Chapter 5 comes straight afterwards.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>A few short hours later, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"Charlotte! Tea!" called a breezy voice. Without waiting for an answer, Esther burst into the room, bearing a mug of tea.</p><p>"Goodness, you're sleeping late this morning, I thought I'd bring you a cuppa before I... Oh shit, I'm sorry!" She stood there, laughing. "I had no idea."</p><p>Charlotte stirred in the bed and Sidney blearily opened his eyes to see a tall, slim, redhead grinning down at him. Charlotte hastily pulled the covers up over them.</p><p>"Morning Esther." She couldn't resist a cheeky grin. "Meet Sidney. Sidney Parker."</p><p>"Well yes, I assumed as much," smiled Esther, placing the mug on the bedside table. "Lovely to meet you Sidney, I've heard a lot about you. In fact, Charlotte talks about you constantly." Sidney was rather amused. Esther didn't seem the least embarrassed to be having a civil conversation at rather close quarters with a half naked man.</p><p>"Does she now?" Sidney laughed, hugging Charlotte closer to him. "Only good things I hope."</p><p>"Of course," smiled Esther. "Would you like a cup of tea, Sidney?"</p><p>"Sure, thanks."</p><p>"Okay, coming up."</p><p>Sidney kissed Charlotte's nose. "What have you been saying about me, Miss Heywood?"</p><p>"Oh, mostly things like - 'Is he ever going to make a bloody move?' Good job I took matters into my own hands, isn't it?" laughed Charlotte.</p><p>"Yes, I'm very glad you did." They began to kiss again, just as Esther reappeared with another cup of tea and a packet of biscuits.</p><p>"Sorry! Here you are, something to keep your strength up too! I'll leave you alone now, I'm off for a run."</p><p>Sidney swivelled round to look at her. "Esther, I'm sure I've met you before," he said, squinting at her. "Didn't I see you in the Lighthouse café a few weeks ago? It was raining as I remember."</p><p>Esther coloured a little and her gaze dropped to the floor. "Yes. I remember you actually. And um... your friend. He spoke to me."</p><p>"That was Bradley. I've known him for years, we were at school together. He comes down to Sanditon quite a lot, you know, his mum lives here." Sidney gave her a wry smile.</p><p>"Really? How interesting. Well, perhaps you can introduce us one day. Bye for now!" Esther quickly exited the room, shutting the door behind her.</p><p>"What was all that about?" asked Charlotte.</p><p>"We saw her in the café. Brad was rather smitten as I recall. He has rather a thing for snooty types," Sidney laughed.</p><p>"Oh she's not snooty," replied Charlotte. "A bit posh, I grant you, but she's really lovely. She's single actually, hasn't had a relationship in ages..."</p><p>"Hmmm? Neither has Brad. He was living with someone for years, but it didn't work out."</p><p>"Esther's err... had a difficult past. But, who knows, maybe we could invite them out on a double date?" Charlotte laughed.</p><p>Sidney turned to kiss her. "First, Miss Heywood, I would like to take <em>you </em>out on a date. A proper date. Would you like that?"</p><p>"Very much so. What did you have in mind?" She kissed him back. The front door slammed as Esther departed.</p><p>"We could go out tonight I guess. Vincenzo's is nice, but Mrs D has a habit of going there on Saturdays..." He grimaced. "Or... we could have dinner at my house. I'm not a bad cook, you know. Maybe tomorrow we could go to Brighton or for a walk up on the Downs?”</p><p>"That sounds lovely, but... can we stay here for a bit first?"</p><p>"Sure. What did you have in mind?"</p><p>"I'm going to the bathroom and we can discuss that when I get back." She gave him a mischievous smile and disappeared. When she returned, he watched her naked form move gracefully across the room, as she discreetly went towards her drawer and took something out.</p><p>"My turn," he said and disappeared too. In the bathroom, he splashed water on his face and squeezed a little toothpaste out of the tube, smearing it around his teeth and rinsing his mouth out with water. He looked at himself in the mirror. Somehow, he felt even more nervous than the first time they had made love last night. That had been a largely lustful encounter, emboldened by alcohol and following months of longing on both sides, months of little glances and touches, fuelled by fantasies indulged in alone, the excitement of finally seeing her naked body, of touching and kissing her wonderful breasts, and all the rest... This felt different somehow. In that long night, he had bared his soul to her, opened up his wounds and there was no going back. But, despite his faults and his stupidity, she wanted him. And he wanted her. That was enough.</p><p> </p><p>She was lying naked under the covers. He slipped in beside her.</p><p>"Charlotte, I just want to say..." he began.</p><p>"Sidney, enough talking, just come here."</p><p>He bent his head to kiss her. "I'm sorry."</p><p>Their dark brown eyes mirrored each other. Taking a deep breath, she decided to take the plunge. Sometimes you just had to trust your instincts and let go.</p><p>"It's okay," she whispered. "Now make love to me."</p><p>So he did. He kissed and caressed every inch of her, slowly, tenderly, teasingly, sensually, until every nerve in her body was on fire and yearning for him. Just as she was teetering on the brink of ecstasy, he entered her and she almost instantly cried out in release, gripping his shoulders and kissing him passionately.</p><p>As they made love, everything else fell away, all those memories, all those years of self-doubt, work, school, family, the outside world, nothing else mattered. All he felt was happiness, warmth and ecstasy. In a brief moment of clarity, he looked down at her beautiful face and she was smiling, gazing tenderly at him, a hint of tears in her eyes. As all the tension released from inside him, he cried out her name.</p><p>Collapsing on top of her, he whispered into her ear. He couldn't help himself. "I love you Charlotte."</p><p>Charlotte kissed him but didn't reply. Sidney held her to him as tightly as he possibly could. He was never, ever going to let her go.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Private heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is the last chapter, followed by a very short Epilogue. Thanks for reading and commenting!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Later that evening, they were sitting in Sidney’s kitchen eating dinner, a bottle of wine on the table between them. It was just a simple pasta meal but he was right, he was a good cook. As she put down her fork, she smiled shyly at him. Leaning back in his chair, he exhaled happily. Neither of them could quite believe how rapidly their lives had changed over the last twenty-four hours.</p><p>***</p><p>After making love at Charlotte’s flat, he had cycled home to get his car to pick her up. Noticing her uncertainty as he left, he’d written down his full address and phone number on a piece of paper. “There. If I don’t come back in under an hour, call me. And if there’s no answer, call the emergency services.”</p><p>He was back in less than 30 minutes, having quickly changed into jeans and a jumper. She was ready and waiting, also dressed casually. Climbing into his car, she remarked, “I haven’t had a shower yet. Could probably do with one.”</p><p>“Good,” he replied, squeezing her knee. “I need one too.”</p><p>Only a few minutes after they had entered his house, they had stripped off their clothes and were under a hot shower together, soaping each other’s bodies. Charlotte traced her hands over his firm, broad, surprisingly hairy chest, his muscly back and his strong thighs that quivered when she touched them. Sidney strained towards her; he badly wanted to take her right there, in the shower, see what she felt like without any barrier between them, but he could sense her uncertainty. He was more than a little amazed when she suddenly dropped to her knees and took him in her mouth. Leaning back against the tiles, he searched for something to grab hold of, but his hands slipped clumsily against the wet surface, so he was forced to grab hold of her hair. It had been so long since anyone had done this to him, he thought he would explode almost instantly. Not wanting to finish so soon, he gently lifted her up, handed her a towel, then scooped her up in his arms and carried her through to the bedroom.</p><p>“What are you doing?” she laughed softly.</p><p>“Wait and see,” he said as he kissed the freckles on her nose. Laying her down on the bed, he licked and kissed every inch of her, his tongue and his fingers reaching to places she hadn’t thought possible, until her whole body was shuddering with intense pleasure and her cries could probably be heard halfway down the street.</p><p>Then she made love to him, grinding slowly on top as she tantalisingly grazed her breasts against his lips, her hair tumbling around his face. So many times he had imagined this, alone in bed at night, but the reality was a thousand times better than any of his feverish dreams. Afterwards, they lay unspeaking, their faces inches apart, their eyes communicating everything it was impossible to put into words. Then they both drifted off into a peaceful doze.</p><p> </p><p>When Charlotte awoke, Sidney was sitting up, looking down at her tenderly. She stretched out luxuriously in the large bed with its clean white sheets that smelled of him, and now of her. Outside the window, the sun was shining brightly and she could hear the nearby sound of a lawnmower.</p><p>“Hey,” smiled Sidney, “you realise it’s nearly one o’clock and we haven’t eaten anything except those biscuits?”</p><p>“Blimey,” laughed Charlotte, “no wonder my stomach’s rumbling. So what’s on the menu?”</p><p>“Eggs, bacon, coffee?”</p><p>“Sounds fantastic.”</p><p>He kissed her. Not long afterwards, she was seated in his bright, modern kitchen tucking in hungrily. As they ate, they chatted about their families, their childhoods, Sanditon, Willingden, London, their school days, university, what they’d wanted to do when they were younger. Two hours had passed before Charlotte realised her second cup of coffee was cold and the sky was already starting to darken outside.</p><p>In between brunch and dinner, they retired to bed for some considerable time. As the winter sun dipped below the horizon, they explored each others’ bodies in the gathering gloom, huddling under the covers as the air got colder and darker. For a long while, they simply laid there, holding each other, not speaking, as he caressed her and smelled her hair, tracing his finger up and down from her neck to her navel, while she laid her head on his chest and stroked his broad back. Sidney didn’t ever remember feeling so happy and relaxed with a woman, and he told her so. Burying her head in his chest, she whispered, “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to go back to real life.”</p><p>“Charlotte,” he laughed, kissing her hair, “This is real life.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Charlotte finished her last mouthful, put down her fork and took a swig of her wine. Sidney looked across at her; her brow was wrinkled in that adorable way she had when she was thinking or concentrating, but he noticed she seemed a little hesitant.</p><p>“What’s up? You look like you want to say something.” She looked away to the side, out of the window at the pitch blackness of the back garden.</p><p>“Sidney... don’t take this the wrong way, but did you do this with her?”</p><p>Sidney was startled. “Sorry? Do what? With who?”</p><p>She turned back to regard him, frowning slightly again. “With that teacher. Did you cook for her? Did you sit and eat together like this?”</p><p>He laughed. “Good god, no. She never even stayed the night. I may have given her a cup of tea once or twice.”</p><p>But Charlotte was still frowning. “So you just used her?”</p><p>He sat forward in his chair, leaning his arms on the table. “I wouldn’t put it like that. It was a mutual arrangement. I think it was fairly clear it wasn’t going anywhere.”</p><p>“To you, maybe. Perhaps not to her. How do you know she won’t come back?”</p><p>He looked down. “I think I can be pretty sure she won’t be back. Trust me.” He reached for her hand. “Honestly Charlotte, this is nothing like that. I was lonely, I was fucking stupid and I regret every second of it. I really do. It was eighteen months ago and I haven’t been near a woman since. It’s been bloody hard at times, but I haven’t met anyone that was worth it. Until now.”</p><p>He clasped both his hands around hers, as he searched her eyes. She hesitated again.</p><p>“So you’re... um, clean?” She blushed.</p><p>“Yes.” He paused. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but since we’re being frank here… What about you, have you been with anyone since James?”</p><p>She shook her head. “No. No one.” Another pause. “I might go on the pill then, if you think that’s a good idea?”</p><p>He smiled. “Sounds great. But it’s totally up to you.”</p><p>He stroked her knuckles gently with his thumb. “You look like you want to ask something else.”</p><p>She sighed, removing her hands from his. "It's just... what you told me last night. It's a lot to process all at once, you know."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Especially... um... what you said about cheating on your wife." She twisted her fork nervously.</p><p>Sidney looked down at his hands. "I'm not especially proud of it, you know. What can I say? I was a lot younger, I married the wrong woman... I hope I am a different man now."</p><p>Charlotte was pensive. "People don't really change that much though, do they, deep down?"</p><p>"Well then, I hope I am a better man at least. People learn from their mistakes, I hope." He sat forward again, making a steeple with his hands and resting his chin on it.</p><p>"I suppose... you just have to keep talking, that's what my mum always says. She would know, she's been married 35 years." Charlotte blushed a little, making a circle on the table with her finger.</p><p>"We talked a lot last night," he replied quietly.</p><p>"Yes, we did." She looked up. Then she moved forward across the table so that their faces were nearly touching. “One last thing... um... what you said this morning. After we made love at my flat. Did you mean it?” she asked quietly, her large, luminous eyes looking directly into his. "Apparently it doesn't count if you say if after sex," she smiled.</p><p>“Yes,” he replied, in a soft undertone. “I was a bit overcome by emotion, perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything... but yes, I meant it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about anyone, Charlotte. I know it’s early days, but it’s not like we’ve only just met. It just feels… right. But if you want me to back off...”</p><p>Charlotte rose from her chair, came round towards him and sat across his lap. Cupping his jaw in her hands, she gave him a long, slow kiss. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her mouth close to his ear. “I love you too, Sidney,” she whispered.</p><p>Sidney held her tightly, unable to speak. Then, all of a sudden, he stood, scooping her up in his arms. Smiling broadly, he leaned down to kiss her.</p><p>“Where are you taking me?” she laughed, as he walked across the kitchen.</p><p>“Where do you think? Upstairs so I can show you how much I love you.”</p><p>“What about the washing up?”</p><p>“Oh, sod the washing up. There are more important things in life.”</p><p>Kissing and laughing as they went, Sidney carried Charlotte up to their own private heaven.</p><p> </p><p>*******************************</p><p>The End.</p><p>*******************************</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Epilogue</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>So that's what might have happened in an alternate universe to the alternate universe, if we didn't have to go through all the angst and drama of Episode 8 and find a way to resolve what seems to be an irresolvable crisis. In this version, I imagine that Sidney has a quiet word with Dan Ferrars, the Deputy Head, the following week. Dan is discreet and understanding, and he takes over as Charlotte’s mentor. Sidney and Charlotte embark on a normal relationship, gradually getting to know each other and falling more and more in love each day. Of course, they also get to know each other's irritating habits and flaws, which they endeavour to come to terms with. Charlotte gets irritated when Sidney goes into his man cave and won't tell her what's bothering him, or when he tries to cope with things on his own without seeking her help, but they sort it out. Sidney gets annoyed with Charlotte's assumptions and quick temper, and sometimes finds her PMT difficult to deal with, but they deal with it. </p><p>They go to the staff Christmas party together, sit on different tables and discreetly disappear home together after the restaurant. No club, no Edward, no incriminating photo. Charlotte spends Christmas day in Brighton with Sidney's family, who are all delighted to meet her. Tom is there too and he and Mary are getting on much better. On Boxing Day, Sidney drives Charlotte down to Dorset for a couple of days and meets all her family. They go back to London for New Year’s Eve, staying at Brad's flat. Charlotte invites Esther to come and spend New Year with them and the four friends go clubbing together, along with Georgie and Otis perhaps. Brad has a two bedroom flat and offers Esther his room while he sleeps on the sofa, but mysteriously, the next morning, Brad is no longer on the sofa and he and Esther are busy getting acquainted.</p><p>On New Year's Day, Charlotte and Sidney drive back to Sanditon together, leaving Esther snuggled up with Brad, and on 2nd January, Sidney's 36th birthday, they go for a long, snowy walk together on the Sussex Downs. Afterwards, Charlotte buys Sidney a meal at a pub, then they go back to Sidney's house and spend the next couple of days having sex all over the house, until it's the dreaded end of the holidays and time to go back to school for the bleak winter term.</p><p>The only snag with this scenario is that Clara is still stuck in a toxic relationship with Edward, and no one really knows what Edward is up to, so their story will have to remain unresolved. One big advantage though is that Eliza never, ever, comes back onto the scene...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay maybe a few bumps (so much baggage!) but not for long...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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